December 15, 2009

Success!

After being patient and waiting for a non confrontational principal to act, the devil spawn 3 is finally in an assigned seat.  Hopefully this will take care of the bullying and harassment suffered by my daughter for nearly 2 years.  What boggles my mind is the Zero Tolerance Policy our district brags about, yet when push comes to shove, the bully wins.  I refuse to allow my children to become victims of a bully, and woe to those who decide to make my child their prey.

Score one for the underdog!

December 11, 2009

Bullies

I think I’ve blogged about my idiot neighbors.  I’m pretty sure they have Borderline Personality Disorder.  Look it up, the description is scary and it fits the parents to a T.  So they’re raising their 3 children to be hateful, believe they are perfect and above the law.  They started some nonsense with my now former next door neighbors over 7 years ago.  After they moved, the morons started in on us.  Now they involve my children too, with their kids as the weaponry.  I have no idea what the issue is, and I’m pretty sure at this point, they don’t know either.  My former next door neighbor and I are still good friends, and we discuss this off and on and “think” we know why, because the female BPD divulged some secret, we’re sure she admitted it to her husband, he got angry and then it started.  One day we’re all friends, and seriously, the next day, it exploded.  You figure it out.

Their 2nd grade boy is just filled with hate.  His eyes are dead.  He was born just a few months before things blew up, so all he’s known is his parents hating the neighbors.  I’ve never done anything to the kids, or the family for that matter, other than be friendly like I am with nearly everyone.  He’s their youngest.  The older girls, a high schooler and a 5th grader, are horrible.  The 5th grader gives me the finger and the loser sign.  What child does this to an adult?  And she doesn’t hide it, just sticks her arm straight out and flips me off.  I honk my horn and blow her kisses at this point.  The finger doesn’t mean jack to me. 

The boy seems to believe its acceptable to terrorize and antagonize my 3rd grader daughter on the bus.  The school principal has told him to stay away from her, not to sit near her on the bus and to stop his nonsense.  Has he?  Hell no.  The middle one has done it for a couple of years to my 6th grader, it only stopped because she’s at another school now.  I’ve talked with the principal, talked with Transportation, and either they are incapable or unwilling to confront this family about their childrens’ behavior.

So its started up again, and I’ve had it.  I finally got the principal to call (hopefully) the parents and tell them whats going on and what is going to happen.  Transportation FINALLY said they’d assign this devil spawn a seat on the bus.  I’ve only asked for this for 2 years now.  My dream is to have him kicked off the bus totally.  Its a privilege to ride the bus, not a right. 

What do you do with neighbors who just cannot behave in a civil manner?  I’ve dealt with weird people before, but these people take the cake.  I’ve never had someone so unstable this close to me.  I do worry about my children and they are never in the front of my house unsupervised because I have no idea what these people are capable of doing.  She’s in the Army, he’s ex Army.  I don’t want to slam the Army, but I’m guessing insane people are happily enlisted with them.   Don’t get me started on the fraud she’s committed with the Army over the years, she happily bragged about it when she was still talking to me.

Ideas?  I’d love to hear.  There are days I just consider moving.  It takes so much energy to hate, and they apparently have excess energy.  I do my best to ignore them, but when you involve my children, you’ve crossed a forbidden line.  No one screws with my children.  You can say anything you want about me, I know its false.  But my kids?  They have nothing to do with the venom and hatred leaking from that house.  A future generation of insane people are being raised there, one will probably end up a serial killer. 

God help us.

November 14, 2009

Travel time, a whole new version of hell

I’ll be travelling soon with my family.  Only another diabetic understands what is involved in travelling with this disease.  I not only need my glucose meter, but an extra battery for the meter.  Extra test strips.  My insulin, several infusion sets, reservoirs, skin prep and the inserter.  Oh, don’t forget batteries for my pump too.  I also call my doc and get a script for my insulin, just in case I happen to drop the bottle and it shatters, leaving me totally screwed.  (BTW, insulin outside the bottle stinks to high heaven). 

Luckily this trip, we’re going by plane.  Unfortunately, this means the security idiots.  They have utterly no clue what to make of my insulin pump or my meter.  I had one Einstein first inform me I had to take off my pump, and even after I told him it was attached to me, he didn’t care.  I unhooked it, and had to take off the reservoir.  What I should have done was informed him I’d have to take off my pants too.  Then he had th nerve to tell me I had to check my pump in my baggage.  Pardon me, but first off the insulin would freeze in the cargo hold.  Second, since I’ll be sitting at this airport for nearly 2 hours, then I have a 4 hour flight, then standing in line at the new airport to gather my baggage, this is nearly 8 hours without my pump.  I could be close to coma by then.  So unless you want a lawsuit on your hands, Sir, I suggest you just let me go on my way.  Fortunately the supervisor was making her way around to see what was holding up everything (yes, I was pleased to be the center of attention), and she waved me on.   I couldn’t believe the nerve of this individual.  If this is your job, you’d better educate yourself on some of the more obscure things you’re going to see on the job.  Not that insulin pumps are obscure by any means, but most diabetics aren’t drawing attention to themselves and their pump.

Pumpers don’t have the luxury of going down to the local drug store or Walgreens to pick up what they may have forgotten at home.  All this stuff is special order.  If I happen to forget it, I’m really in trouble.  So the first things I pack are my insulin pump supplies.  But then I always second guess myself at the end.  Did I pack enough infusion sets?  Sometimes one screws up and if I don’t pack enough, I could run out.  Reservoirs?  I go check again.  Yep, I should have enough.  Then its remembering to take them with me on the plane, in a carryone.  Where all my problems begin.

I wish my husband had something where he had to bring what seems like tons of stuff with him.  He really has it easy, and he’s clueless

October 10, 2009

Don’t ignore your Blue Moon

I haven’t had my nightly Blue Moon with a shot of OJ in nearly a week.  I’ve had a few evening meetings, and I’m not willing to show up with beer on my breath.  Call me paranoid.  Ironically, I’ve developed my first cold in months too.   I feel like hell, and I’m pretty sure I look it.   I realized last night before I passed out at 7 pm I hadn’t had my Blue Moon in days.  I rectified this situation tonight.  Miracle cure?  Who knows, but I’m back to my old routine.   Maybe I should have a 2nd for good measure.

September 6, 2009

Another year of diabetes…….

Today is the 13th anniversary of my diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. It seems a lifetime ago. So much has happened since 1996, I’ve had 3 children, I’ve lived with a chronic illness, I’ve learned more about insurance companies and the nonsense they like to pull on people. Things I never dreamed I’d deal with or experience.

I always feel in a funk around this time every year. I was 28 when I was diagnosed, so I had years of life with no diabetes. I remember what it was like not to have to take my blood sugar every time I wanted to eat, or every time I felt strange. I didn’t have to count carbs. I didn’t have to see a doc 4x a year. I didn’t have to worry about my eyes or kidneys. So much goes into this disease and taking care of yourself because of it.

My kids have never known me without diabetes. Its always been present. Sometimes it does stop me from doing what I want to do. Unlike the commercials for meters and such, having them doesn’t make every thing easier. So much to pack to take along with you for even the most simple of trips.

Cure? I laugh. I don’t want to be negative, but its never happening. Not in my lifetime. Maybe I’m a bit of a conspiracy theorist, but treating this disease makes too much money for too many people. Curing it would not be a good thing for pharmaceutical companies, meter manufacturers or pump makers. For me, it would be the best thing since giving birth to my children.

On the plus side, I’ve lived with a chronic illness for 13 years now. I have no complications other than some very slight kidney damage which is well managed by medication. I have 3 gorgeous children from 3 diabetic pregnancies. I have a busy life, many friends, an amazing family. Maybe having diabetes is keeping me from having a more serious or deadly disease. I could live with this disease for another 50+ years. I probably will too.

Now to figure out how to commemorate this date in a way which celebrates what I have, not what I’ve lost. Therein lies the question.

August 25, 2009

Denial

I feel badly for my kids.  They have a father who doesn’t like to interact with them.  Granted, his dad was the same way.  He’d stay out until after the kids went to bed, so he could come home and eat dinner in peace.  Why bother having children?  They are normal kids, they don’t listen, they don’t want to help out.  But they’re smart, funny and once you get them going, they will do what you ask.  They need to push to see if you’ll give up.  All kids do it.  But its personal with him.

I don’t get it.  He’s obsessed with work.  The only interaction he has with his children most days is yelling at them to do something.  I just tried to help him figure out some other way of dealing with this.  His answer was to yell at me and ask me if I wanted an argument.  Dude, you’re a lost cause.

Honestly, had I know this is the way things would be, I would not have married this man.  How sad is that to admit?  He’s not the person I married 15 years ago.  He barely resembles that person.  I know I’ve changed, I’ve become more patient, I’ve let loose and act silly with the kids.  He went the other direction.  I know you can’t help a person who doesn’t want to help himself, and I guess that is where I am now.  Its obvious he does not want to change his ways.  If he only knew how much his children despise him already, at their young ages.  I had to admit to my eldest. who is 11,  her dad is chronically depressed and attempt to explain his behavior and moods.  Oh the moods.  When he disappears for hours at a time, alone.  No explanation, no reasons, no information at all.  Who does that to their spouse and children?  I’d call it selfish. 

But of course, the problem lies with me.  I’m actually the root of most of his issues, did you know that?  I’m totally impressed with myself being so effective in making someone’s life hell.  And I did it without actually trying, which is the sad part. 

I don’t know what to do at this point.  Do I stay and tolerate this shit?  Do I leave and be on my own with 3 children, a chronic illness and a work history with an 11 year old gap?   I’ve heard women have mood swings, but in this case, its him.  He can go from pleasant to raging lunatic in the drop of a hat over nothing.  I wish I could have a video camera running 24/7 so he can see what he’s doing.   I did ask him why we had kids.  He answered he didn’t know.  I know why I had them, but why did I choose him to help me bring these children into this world?  What the hell is wrong with me that I made this choice for a partner?  This was not what I had planned.

Denial.

August 3, 2009

Decorating projects, oy vey

Why does a project always take 5x as long as estimated?  I’m redoing Lily’s room, since she’s going into middle school.  I told her I would when she started asking in 3rd grade.  It seemed so far away.  Its 2 weeks away now.  I’m nearly finished.  I forgot to do the closet.  Which is the least of my worries.  After scraping the disgusting popcorn off her ceiling, painting the walls, woodwork, redoing the woodwork after helpers made a mess, painting the closet doors, the door to her room, then doing all the clean up, I don’t ever want to do this again.

I’d ask Lily for some help, and you’d think I was asking her to cut off her arm.  I don’t know where I went wrong with my kids when they think they’re “owed” these things.  Guess I have some more work to do in the child raising department.

July 24, 2009

No respect

I volunteer at my daughters’ elementary school. I’ve done so since Lily was in kindergarten.  She’s now a 5th grader.   The 5th grade at school always has a special day before they leave the school to move onto middle school.  This particular group of parents has always worked well together.  I’ve been very lucky.  But no one wanted to tackle and head up the 5th grade Celebration committee.   After several weeks of being asked by various people, I relented, as long as I had someone to chair it with me.  Another mom, thankfully, stepped up and we’ve been working on this since August.

I sent out an email, with a poorly worded ending.  What I meant was I didn’t want to see the same names on the set up, tear down and chaparone lists, and I was pessimistic as parents weren’t knocking down our doors to help out.  This sent one husband and wife into a tizzy over me criticizing working parents.  Say what?  Where did you read that?!  I received an email from the wife first, telling me about them working, etc.  I can see this, but we all work.  I’ve also NEVER heard a word from you in response to an email or note sent home about this project or even the baby pictures for the year book. 

After she and I work this out, her husband decides to pounce on me again, 2 days later.  But this time, he sends it to the entire group, which is about 40 people.   He was rude, disrespectful and just plain mean. 

Coming back to this draft several months later, this whole thing still bugs me.  This rude gentleman never did  apologize, nor did he say anything to the parents who organized a whole day for the kids, including his twin boys. 

I will never understand people who behave this way, and I’m probably not supposed to either.  Karma will get him.

July 24, 2009

Found a new endo!

This gentleman’s name had been suggested by several fellow sugar enhanced women, and he’s awesome.  Hopefully this one will work out.  He’s respectful, understands I know what I’m doing with my chronic condition, realizes I don’t need lecture but help, suggestions and encouragement.  His nurses are fantastic.

July 24, 2009

Chewed through the restraints, I’ve returned!

Summer is allegedly a time to relax and kick back.  Unless you’re a stay at home mom.  I’m not sure if I should book a padded cell for myself, or be fitted for a custom straight jacket.  I’m leaning towards both, just in case one fails.  No one wants to do what I suggest, so what happens?  We end up doing nothing.  Every school year I swear I’m going to plan summer better, have things scheduled and know what we’re doing.  Every year the end of school sneaks up on me and bites me in the bum, and I’m regretting my lack of organization.  I used to be organized, as people with whom I once worked.  I had a functioning brain!  Now, I’m pretty sure its rotting and liquifying and running down the inside of my neck.  Could explain so many things…….

I love my children, don’t get me wrong.  When I was a child, my brothers and I were outside playing and Mom had to drag us inside to eat.  My kids.  I have to threaten them to go outside.  What is wrong with them? 

Argue and debate? My kids will excell.  Contradictory, always.  Infuriating?  Oh yes.  I don’t quite remember being so ignorant and physical with my brothers when I was younger.  My children think its a sport.  We have something called “Thunderdome” in the back yard.  2 go in, 1 comes out.  It doesn’t actually work this way, and I tend to tell the youngest to grab the chains.  They never want to fight when I suggest it.  But telling them to stop doesn’t work either.  I need to figure out a more effective way of relating to my children.  Maybe they should share some jobs together and learn how to cooperate.  Who am I fooling!?